5/5/2013 – Every day feels like a miracle

I would like to share why I enjoyed last week so much, besides the fact that my blood work came back right in the normal range again (kappa light chains at 0.92 mg/dL).  So here’s why a perfectly normal day can be so amazing…  I remember last August and September when I used to park my car at the office and grab my laptop backpack.  Pulling it from the back seat of my car and swinging it over my shoulder I would wonder if this would be the day I would make it into the office without a few back pain twinges, or an ache in my hip that would make me walk just a little funny.  But now, I can wear my backpack with no problems and no funny walk; and that makes me smile.  I remember a really difficult morning back in October, right before I went into the hospital, when I came to terms with the fact that, because of my increasing back problems, I may somehow have to be a dad that couldn’t lift up his kids…  couldn’t wrestle, couldn’t run and couldn’t rough house…  I shed some heavy tears that morning.  I was confident I could still be a good dad; I knew that I wouldn’t have been the first dad to have to live with difficulties like that, but coming to terms with it was a big pill to swallow.  But now, I can lift them, I can throw them around, wrestle with them, and catch them when they run (although they’re getting pretty fast!).  I remember months when I couldn’t put Samuel to bed because I couldn’t lift him to put him in his crib.  I’m a bedtime daddy, so I get to spend special time with each of them every night putting them to bed.  Missing those nights with Samuel was really tough, especially because with each of the kids, I experienced a picture of God’s Love for me as I held them, rocked them, comforted them, sang to them, prayed over them, and just watched them fall asleep in my arms during those special bedtimes when they were babies.  But now, I have no trouble putting him to bed at night, or getting him out of the crib when he wakes up.  I remember back in September having to back off of some of the activities I normally did to help out around the house, and then for a few months, I couldn’t really do anything.  That left a tremendous burden on Jas to keep up with three kids, a husband either in the hospital or out of commission, and the entire house mostly by herself.  But now, I’m back into the old routines, and we’re even getting some of house projects done that were on hold…  I built some shelves to finish off our floor-to-ceiling built-ins for the family room, as well as installing a mantle around the fireplace, and I’m working on building us a nine foot barn wood dining room table.  Every day feels like a miracle.  I still have to watch myself a little bit, I’ll get sore when I push it quite a bit and have to rest a little longer than normal, but I’m still healing and it keeps getting better.  I never imagined I would feel this good again, and I praise God for the way He heals.

I have been reading some verses I want to share with all who have been praying for me.  They resonate with so much of my journey, though they were written by Paul who was going through crazy persecution I could probably never understand… nonetheless, it still resonates with my story and has been really encouraging, so I hope it is encouraging to you as well [my comments in brackets].  “We do not want you to be uniformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia [just like I felt overwhelmingly compelled to write my story and share it with my family and friends].  We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure [definitely felt like this a few times. when your own body is killing itself, you have to deal with some pretty interesting thoughts], so that we despaired of life itself.  Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death [literally, we received just that from the medical community].  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God [absolutely! we rely on God every minute to sustain us, but it’s easy to take that for granted when things are going smooth and comfortable. it's in our greatest times of need that His faithfulness shines bright, and my trust in Him has grown so much through this], who raises the dead [and if He can raise the dead, which He has done many times in the sight of many witnesses, then what do we have to fear if we trust in Him?].  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril [as I believe He has delivered me, here and now], and he will deliver us again [and I think here Paul is referring to the hope he has, and the hope I have, in the deliverance we will receive when this earthly life filled with pain and suffering is over, and I am rescued into the eternal presence of my Lord Jesus Christ. O glorious day!].  On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many [I already hear of this through those who have shared how my story has encouraged them, and by so many who have continued to pray for me regularly. I am humbled by how many people have kept me in their prayers, and delighted by the glory God is receiving through answered prayer].” – 2^nd Corinthians 1:8-11 (NIV).

I read these verses often, and thank God for all those who have rallied around us.  We are truly blessed!
 
I am off of all medications except a blood thinner, which I’ll be taking through about July because of the blood clots I had in November.  I will continue to get blood work every month to check my kappa light chain protein level, and I will try to keep the updates coming.  Getting back to where I was physically has gotten us back into more of our old “normal” life again… and with that, the busy-ness has crept back in and we have a jam-packed schedule.  Although, with a slightly different perspective on life, I think we are enjoying each moment a little more, busy or not…