10/12/2012 - Big News

hey friends and family, this is probably going to be a long e-mail, but it's serious, so please strap in...  it's been a difficult couple of months, followed by a very difficult week, followed by one crazy day that will echo through the rest of our little family's lives.  for the sake of those who haven't heard much, i'll start from the beginning...
(and please feel free to share/send/post any or all of this to anyone else you like)

last november, quite unexpectedly and through no apparent cause, my back went out on me.  i had never felt anything like that before, and spent a few days laying, crawling and going to the chiropractor before I was up and about again.  i continued going to the chiropractor for a few months, and then stopped as the symptoms seemed to get better (slowly) until i was pretty much back to normal.

i felt really good for about six months or so, until i could feel the faint return of the previous back issues.  thankfully i have a wonderful wife who knows things don't just go away on their own, and she helped encourage me to take the time to do something about it.  i decided to try out a physical therapist this time and went to sessions for about a month.  some things seemed to get better, but some didn't and other strange things shows up, and again, my wonderful wife knew something wasn't right.  i had a rough week, and a final therapy session that wasn't helpful.  our busy weekend was interrupted by an untimely back spasm that laid me out for a few hours, and left me only able to hobble around, at best, for 3 minutes every 2 to 3 hours.  i tried getting a massage to loosen up my back, and see one of our retired chiropractor friends, but i was still just as immobile the following night.  since the next day was Monday i decided to take my wonderful and insightful wife's advice to go get an MRI done...  but during normal business hours.  little did I know that i would end up on the floor that night, stuck with severe back spasms any way i tried to move, waiting for the ambulance to get me off the floor to the ER.

checked into the hospital about midnight on Sunday night, and Monday was full of evaluations, X-rays, a CT-scan, an MRI of my lower spine, some serious meds and lots more back spasms.
the initial evaluations led to another MRI, this time of my whole spine, neck and head on Tuesday, a biopsy of my L2 vertebrae, more controlled meds, and more back spasms.  i was also fitted with a back brace that stabilized my lower spine and hips, which allowed me to sit up about 45 degrees in the hospital bed for the first time since i was on my back at home.
no conclusions Wednesday, though they gave us an idea of some things they were looking for from the scans.
Thursday was a slower day, no results,  a physical therapist was able to get me out  of bed, and using a walker, i made it across the room and back...  felt so good after looking at the ceiling for almost four straight days.  they moved me to another room that evening, and i had been getting a lot of visitors and phone calls for the past few days, so time was going quick between tests and everything else.  it was wonderful receiving so many calls and visits, and offers to help us out with anything we might need.  we truly feel the amazing love of our community around us.
and today (Friday) we got the results of the biopsy.  Jas and i found out that i have cancer in my L2 vertibrae bone, which leads to a few more questions and tests, but has answered the biggest question of why i have been whining about back pain for the last year.  i can give more detail, and Jas is great at giving updates with the details that you may have already seen, but there are still some things yet to be determined.
as i finish up the final tests this weekend, they'll probably fix me up with some meds, a back brace, and a walker to get me home.  we'll probably start treatment next week, but don't know for sure yet.

so that's the data, now how do we actually feel?  incredibly enough, like many of the other big times in our lives, we look back and see God's hand preparing us and walking us through every step.  we've seen Him (in each of our lives) write the intricate story of our lives as we found Him and put our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the way we were brought together as husband and wife, in the gift of each of our beautiful children, in the details of Samuel's adoption, and in so many other details of our lives.  when Jas and i talk together of what is happening and what is to come, we are so in tune with each other, we find the peace of God together, and we are reminded again and again through difficult trials, why we are so perfect for each other.  we were both led to scriptures that encourages those who put their hope and faith in Jesus Christ to rejoice in our trials, because God uses those times most difficult to shape us and mold us towards the most beautiful version of who He created us to be.
it's funny that over the past few years, i spend almost a whole year studying the book of first Peter in the Bible, and after studying it for so long, i put together a few Sunday School lessons for church.  one of the things that impacted me the most, and made a huge shift in my life perspective, was the topic of suffering that was addressed in the letter Peter wrote.  i tried to convince our Sunday School class that we should actually look forward to trials in our lives, because of what comes through them by God's hand.  listen to these few verses from the book of James and from first Peter that Jas and i talked about tonight as we processed the news we got from the doctors:

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

First Peter 1:3-9, 5:10 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."..."After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

the Bible doesn't say that we have to enjoy pain, because pain hurts, or it wouldn't be suffering...  or that we have to enjoy difficult times, because difficult times are hard, or we wouldn't call them difficult times.  the thing that the Bible tells us over and over again is that suffering we endure today is short, and should never make us lose perspective of the joy we have in what God did for us through His Son Jesus Christ, who was sent to earth to endure the same pain and suffering we do, to teach us what it really means to Love the way we were designed to Love, to lay down His own sinless life in order that our sins could be paid for and forgiven completely...  and the good news, should we choose to trust in what the scriptures say about Jesus, and what Jesus teaches through His words, is that we are "born again" into a new life, transformed and given security in the hope that when our frail bodies fail, Jesus will take us with Him to a place where sin and death and pain and suffering and aches and cancer and hate and loss and shame and deceit don't exist, and we live together with God as we were designed to from the beginning, for all eternity.

so yeah, there'll be tears, like there already have been, because it hurts...  physically, mentally and emotionally.  but don't be surprised when you see smiles on our faces, and a calm joy in our eyes through the hardest times, because spiritually, there has been nothing but peace and Love from God and from the awesome community of friends and family we have around us.  thank you all for being there for us, for all you've done for us, and for any prayers you say for us.

Love you all,
Brady, Jasmine, Sadie, Wyatt & Samuel
October 12, 2012

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace." - Acts 20:24

"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” - Joshua 24:15

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