1/10/2013 - a humbling experience

I have been humbled much by myeloma, by physical limitations, by the overwhelming support of friends and family, by the peace and guidance and miracles from God's hand...  but I have been humbled recently in another way, that again is just overwhelming.  It seems as if myeloma has chosen the wrong host by the way God is guiding us to the right doctors, the right drugs, and using the power of His grace in amazing ways as we see wonderful healing progress.  There is much to go through yet, but up to this point, for the affliction that I have to endure, we can't ask for better news over and over, from the early detection, to the slightest of side-effects, to the lastest results that the doctors did not expect in the least.  I believe that God has prepared me, in my heart and in my mind, through the encouragement of His Word, for whatever the world, or Satan, or just the natural course of life hands me.  I've known and heard of God's children healed from the worst of afflictions for His glory, but I've also known and heard of some of God's sweetest, most faithful children walk gracefully a path without healing for His glory.  I have been humbled recently by the blessing after blessing I am receiving on this journey, while I pray and see and hear of others on similar journeys, with more harsh and aggressive afflictions, without the same good news...  unanswered prayers...  more uncertainty...  And even though I know the ultimate blessing is not found here in this life, that comfort doesn't last, that the healing of our bodies today doesn't promise us a tomorrow without some other affliction...  even though I know that the ultimate blessing is what God offers us though what Jesus did on our behalf, and through His power over sin and death, for when this life is used up… a renewed, eternal life with Him and without affliction, a life after ultimate, total and complete healing… even though I know all these things, I still want to see the healing and the blessings and the good news for all of us today, and I am humbled that I enjoy so many through this journey.  And it might sound like I feel bad or down because of this, but though I have been humbled, I am still filled with joy for what I have been blessed with...  I actually think I appreciate them even more.  I am still ecstatic talking to people about the test results, I still celebrate the wonderful blessings me and my family receive, and still cherish every prayer and encouragement and blessing from all you who have come up along side of us through this...  even those of you we have never met face to face (little shout out to the Sunday School in Kingsport, the church in the Ukraine, the students in La Limonada...  I wish I could write about everyone...  I wish I knew every one).  I wish only the best outcome for every affliction, but it is not up to me to decide, that belongs to God and I believe there is purpose for every journey, wonderful purpose that is most likely difficult to walk in, but so worth it in the end.  I have been commended quite a few times for my faith as we go through these trials, which is humbling in itself because that too is a blessing from God which I can't accept credit for.  The Apostle Paul, of who's faith I would consider myself near-zero in comparison to, says, "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." (Romans 12:3 - NIV).  He recognized that the faith he had was a measure given to him by God, and I am beginning to recognize that truth in myself.  Thanks to all of you, for being part of a humbling process that has drawn me even closer to my wonderful God of all comfort, the great Physician, my King, my Savior...

brady...  a man no more deserving, no less deserving, no better, no worse...  just blessed for a purpose much bigger than myself...

There's a great song that prompted some of these thoughts you can find on YouTube by searching for "mercies in disguise."  It's worth a listen.