Thank you for your prayers concerning our meeting with the bone marrow transplant specialist in Hershey back on the 14th. We had a great meeting and he spent about an hour and a half with us as he explained much about myeloma and the transplant procedure. He oversees many, many myeloma patients, but I continue to maintain my “unique constellation” status as only about one to two percent of the multiple myeloma patients at Hershey are in my age group, and significantly fewer still are this young without genetic markers that point to aggressive myeloma (markers which I have been tested for and don’t have). It was a very positive discussion, and the details of the bone marrow transplant procedure are less daunting than we had previously thought. We had thought I would be in the hospital for a month with no immune system, but it’s more like a three week process. The first week is pretty low-key, where they collect stem cells from my blood, which is followed by a two week process of killing and reviving my bone marrow. By the end of the two weeks, I should be fine to go home, but will still have to be careful as my immune system builds back up to full strength.
We had a second opinion for a bone marrow transplant consultation scheduled for the 27th in Philadelphia, but the doctor got sick and we are rescheduled for Monday the 31st.
Last week was also a bit up-and-down as I met with both an orthopedic surgeon and my neurologist about my back pain (not knowing that they serve the same purpose in my case). Seeing my vertebrae for the first time, the orthopedic surgeon was very concerned, which got me very concerned, with the integrity of the bone as it is now. It sounded like surgery was probably necessary, but this was based off of an X-ray, which isn’t very good compared to CAT scans. He ordered me a new back brace, which is kind of makes me feel like I’ve got a Batman suit on, and wanted to schedule another appointment for after my CAT scan was done. After meeting with him, I got another CAT scan and met with the neurologist that initially assessed me in the hospital. He works with many multiple myeloma patients and put our minds at ease about a lot of stuff. He agreed with getting the new back brace, but was very optimistic (based on his experience with vertebral tumors in myeloma patients) that the bone will heal itself over the course of time. Not completely to where it was before, but to where there would be no issue with the strength of the bone, and the back pain may go away over the course of the healing. So we’ll be exercising our patience and continue to pray for healing.
Over the last month or so, I’ve had some conversation with friends of different beliefs that got me thinking about sin and cancer and faith. I was humbled by God's Spirit as I pondered more on the reason for suffering and trials in our lives and found myself thinking some pretty arrogant thoughts. It is my sinful condition that ultimately caused the decay of my body... maybe not anything specifically I have done, but when sin entered the world from the first man, it was inherited by all people and subjected all of creation to decay and death… and for us, we have all been subject to its consequence: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” “For the wages of sin is death…" Romans 3:23, 6:23 (not just the decay and death our physical body is subject to, but really the spiritual death that results apart from salvation through Jesus Christ). So I don’t think I have cancer because of something I did directly, which could be a popular thought back in the times of the Old Testament of the Bible, or with those who believe in Karma, or in other faiths I unfortunately don't know enough details about, but it is ultimately a result of sin, which I was born into, guilty of from the beginning of my life. But as I've said before, there is a purpose here for me and I think that without these trials in our lives, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for a Christian's faith to be evident at all. Our lives should be marked not by a life that is free from trouble or tragedy just because we have put our faith in Jesus, but marked by how we respond to the troubles and tragedy that come with a sinful and evil world (even present in our own decaying bodies) because of the hope we have in the promised salvation for those who give our lives to Him… a salvation that releases us from the power of sin over our lives now, and rescues us into eternal life with God when Christ returns to make all things right. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." - 1 Peter 3-5.
I've also been reflecting on the peace God is giving me. It applies somewhat to the previous thoughts, but I have noticed how comforting it is to rest on the hope of the new body I will receive through the salvation of Christ after this one dies and all things are made new. I will take care of this one the best I can because I think that's what God wants from us, and it glorifies Him, but there is only so much I can do... or anyone can do… nobody can live forever by their own power. But by being worked on by so many doctors lately, I am better understanding the Bible's explanation of our bodies as "vessels," which expresses a separation of our mortal bodies and our eternal souls. Because most of the doctors know the body, statistics of treatments, have lots of tools and drugs, and can fix bodies, I feel a lot like a car in the shop. They tend to focus only on the physical side of things, which shouldn’t be surprising since that’s what they’ve been trained for and get paid for. But don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean they aren't compassionate, they have all been wonderful and I feel very blessed by the care I am able to be under because of my job, insurance, country, location, and the wonderful people who have dedicate their lives to helping others in the medical field... it's amazing really. So, I'll do my part to keep this "car" in tip-top shape (which thankfully I have a wonderful wife who has already done so much for me over the past 10 years already!), and we’ll continue to trust God to guide us to the expert "mechanics" that are going to diagnose the problems, and be able to do what I can't do myself to keep this "car" running, and running smoothly. Funny place to find peace, but I'm a funny guy sometimes.
12/07/2012 - Starting Myeloma Remission Drug Therapy
It's been a great break from the hospital, doctors and treatments, but yesterday started a new regiment. The day before Thanksgiving was my last day of radiation treatment, and we had a nice, relaxing celebration for Thanksgiving. Then we had two full weeks to get back into somewhat "normal" routines, although my back pain has kind of leveled off and I am still very limited in what I can do physically. I believe it's related to the structural damage done to the vertebrae from my bone lesion, but we aren't scheduled to see the neurologist for a follow up CAT scan and assessment for another few weeks. I have started physical therapy, which feels great to get some of these muscles working again that have been resting for so long, and it has been helping a bit with strength and mobility, but I've got a ways to go to get back to normal.
The pile of pills and the Velcade shot at the hospital was a little daunting to think about day before yesterday, but God gave His peace as I prayed throughout the night, as I searched His Scriptures for comfort, as I spoke with my wonderful wife about it, and as the prayers of friends of family rose up before the Lord. My treatment schedule is a once-a-week mega dose of steroids, cancer fighters and "moderate" chemo pills, with supplemental daily pills to control possible side-effects and regulate certain blood levels. Well, after all the hype, and all the crazy lists of side-effects, and after the anticipation of the first treatment, the only thing I've noticed so far was having a hard time sleeping, which I'm told was from the steroids. I realize that some of the more common side-effects don't show up for a week or two, but it's been pretty encouraging that the last two days have felt pretty much the same as all last week.
Our next big step is to meet with a few bone marrow transplant specialists for consultations on that process after the cancer has been pushed into remission. We're scheduled to meet with two different treatment centers before the end of the year, and praying for wisdom as we seek out God's clear path for us. He has been so gracious to us in our journey, and we see Him walking ahead of us in every part of our lives, preparing our way before us. He gives us peace and comfort each step of the way, and we've gained a new appreciation for the blessings of each day... a new perspective on our everyday lives, and it has made life so much more brilliant... even on a rainy day like today.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Jesus (NIV) Matthew 11:28-30
The pile of pills and the Velcade shot at the hospital was a little daunting to think about day before yesterday, but God gave His peace as I prayed throughout the night, as I searched His Scriptures for comfort, as I spoke with my wonderful wife about it, and as the prayers of friends of family rose up before the Lord. My treatment schedule is a once-a-week mega dose of steroids, cancer fighters and "moderate" chemo pills, with supplemental daily pills to control possible side-effects and regulate certain blood levels. Well, after all the hype, and all the crazy lists of side-effects, and after the anticipation of the first treatment, the only thing I've noticed so far was having a hard time sleeping, which I'm told was from the steroids. I realize that some of the more common side-effects don't show up for a week or two, but it's been pretty encouraging that the last two days have felt pretty much the same as all last week.
Our next big step is to meet with a few bone marrow transplant specialists for consultations on that process after the cancer has been pushed into remission. We're scheduled to meet with two different treatment centers before the end of the year, and praying for wisdom as we seek out God's clear path for us. He has been so gracious to us in our journey, and we see Him walking ahead of us in every part of our lives, preparing our way before us. He gives us peace and comfort each step of the way, and we've gained a new appreciation for the blessings of each day... a new perspective on our everyday lives, and it has made life so much more brilliant... even on a rainy day like today.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Jesus (NIV) Matthew 11:28-30
11/21/2012 - Radiation is done!
Quite a day for me today! 25 sessions of radiation done, and I can't really believe how quick it went by… although it got to feel a little like Cheers, "where everybody knows your name." Kind of happens that way after five weeks of seeing mostly the same techs every day. I've got to say, by God's grace and all the prayers, I didn't really notice any side effects at all. It's hard to believe I didn't have any skin irritation given the fact that I can't even be out in the sun for very long before I turn bright red in the summer… And, to top it off, I got a diploma from the Radiation-Oncology department! That was a fun little extra. In a weird way, I'm going to miss going there every day. I really had some incredibly intense times in that bunker style room, feeling surrounded by the presence of God more than I can ever remember. It took about a week of sessions before I started to notice the subtleties of what was actually going on. After they walked me into the room and got me set up on the table exactly with laser levels and the three freckle tattoos they gave me, they would leave the room. I didn't notice at first, but as they left, the two foot thick door would slowly close behind them and I could hear the faint click as it locked in place. And then it was just me, in a room designed to protect everyone else from the radiation they were about to expose me to. But it wasn't just me, the presence of God was overwhelming in those moments. I remember hearing the whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me of what the Scriptures say, "you are in Christ, and He is in you." In that moment I felt like Jesus just wrapped me up in Himself as I lay there, and as I heard the buzz of the radiation, I remember thinking to myself, "I should be afraid of this, but I'm not." I just felt an overwhelming peace that anything that got through to me had to pass through Him first… That was my comfort throughout these sessions, and even beyond that, I think it's the same with the trials of my life. There is no trial that doesn't pass by God before it comes into my life, and so I believe there is a purpose for each one, which brings me back to the verses we shared in our first e-mail with the big news (James 1:2-4 and 1 Peter 1:3-9)… but also one from the book of Romans comes to mind today, chapter 8, verse 28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Actually verses 18-39 really give a fuller picture, but it's a bit much to add to an already lengthy e-mail, so you can read that on your own if you want to look it up…
We also went in to see the Hematology-Oncology doctor today because I had trouble with a blood clot two weekends ago, and landed in the hospital for a few more days. They found a few in my calves, but are taking care of them with blood thinners. Again, we see God walking ahead of us and preparing the path before us. One of the medications that was part of my remission treatment plan has a high risk of causing blood clots, which would have been a real problem considering I already had some, and now know that I am probably more susceptible to them in general. We got a lot of good information from the doctor about different treatments they use and the different medications they match up together for a specific individual, but there is a some flexibility there too. We could really use prayer for wisdom in these decisions. I have the holiday and next week off, no hospital visits (scheduled ones anyway), so that's going to be a nice change for a while, and should give us some time to digest some of these things.
Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, gifts, cards, e-mails, meals, rides and help… Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, I hope you have a wonderful time with family and friends and food and fun! We all have much to be thankful for…
Brady
We also went in to see the Hematology-Oncology doctor today because I had trouble with a blood clot two weekends ago, and landed in the hospital for a few more days. They found a few in my calves, but are taking care of them with blood thinners. Again, we see God walking ahead of us and preparing the path before us. One of the medications that was part of my remission treatment plan has a high risk of causing blood clots, which would have been a real problem considering I already had some, and now know that I am probably more susceptible to them in general. We got a lot of good information from the doctor about different treatments they use and the different medications they match up together for a specific individual, but there is a some flexibility there too. We could really use prayer for wisdom in these decisions. I have the holiday and next week off, no hospital visits (scheduled ones anyway), so that's going to be a nice change for a while, and should give us some time to digest some of these things.
Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, gifts, cards, e-mails, meals, rides and help… Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, I hope you have a wonderful time with family and friends and food and fun! We all have much to be thankful for…
Brady
11/9/2012 - Update
Friends & Family, again, I can't thank you enough for
your encouraging words, your many prayers, your constant support and offers for
anything we might need. We are blessed
by your generous hearts… God has done
such an amazing work in planting our little family where we are, to grow with
this wonderful community around us, and even reaching out to our wonderful
friends across the country, and around the world. The richness of our lives has become so
evident over the past month… we have
seen a world of wonderful people rise up around us, and we appreciate, so much,
each one of you. Thank you!
We had our meeting with the Hematology-Oncology doctor about
the results of my bone marrow biopsy yesterday afternoon, and were met with
some unanticipated news. Where we
thought our preliminary glance at the results put us in the "great
news" category, it unfortunately did not.
Although the percentage of plasma cells found in my bone marrow is low,
it is still present, and along with another abnormal indicator of high light
chain protein ratio in my blood, and the bone lesion growth on my vertebrae, I
have been diagnosed with myeloma.
Myeloma is a type of blood cancer, and by the medical world, it is
considered non-curable, but treatable.
Obviously, the diagnosis hit us pretty hard and we still have a lot to
process, but it is good to know what is going on in my body, to the extent that
we can understand it anyway. With little
time to absorb the weight of everything, we moved right into what the treatment
would look like for me working with this team of doctors. Without going into too much detail, the general
approach is to push the cancer into remission using non-chemo drugs, which
could be about a four to six month process.
Apparently the advancements in the treatments for myeloma have been
exploding over the past few years, which has given the medical community very
effective, targeted medications that work much better than chemo treatments
they have used in the past. Once the
cancer is in a remission stage, we have the opportunity/option to do a bone
marrow transplant to get rid of the plasma cells that are present in my bone
marrow. There are different thoughts on
when a transplant should be done, so we will have consultations on that with
other specialists in the future. The
transplant would be done using my own stem cells, which they would only collect
after the cancer is in remission.
Apparently, similar to my radiation treatments now, I
probably won't have heavy side-effects that keep me from normal activities
during my remission treatments. How
great would that be! The remission
treatment schedule is much different than the radiation treatment schedule, so
it will be much easier to get back to a more normal routine. And, because the remission treatment cannot
be done at the same time as I am undergoing radiation treatment for my
vertebrae, we have a few weeks of breathing time to let everything soak in
before anything new starts.
So there's the facts…
Reading over it again, I can imagine how you may see the engineer in me
presenting a somewhat sterile diagnosis, but I'm sure you know that each word
is bleeding with emotion for us. I thank
the Lord for my beautiful, wonderful, loving wife who is always by my side to
take this in with me. She knows all the
right questions to ask when I only have a few, and together we are so much
stronger when this world throws us a curve ball. I am a rich man, that God has brought my
wonderful wife and I together, and delivered to us three absolutely beautiful
and amazing little ones.
I hesitate to share the doctors opinion of how many years I
may have left because there is not much to go on for my specific set of
symptoms and age and conditions. She
actually said I was a unique constellation…
So pretty much anyone can go online and find plenty of different
statistics and stories of myeloma remission and expectancies. But I won't hesitate to tell you that I
believe God created the universe and everything in it, and He knows about each
and every cell in my body. I believe
that His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Savior, could place His
healing hand upon me and completely heal me today. I believe that with all my heart, but I also
believe that I have a purpose and a path, just for me… and it isn't always
clear how that works itself out in this world.
Thankfully I know, by the grace God has given me thus far in my life,
that it is He Himself who has numbered my days.
There is no doctor that knows, and there is no disease that has more
power than the Hand of God. He has given
me all the time I need to accomplish the work I have been created to do, and I
pray that I can use every day to the fullest to bring the glory, honor and
praise to Him who has adopted me as His own.
It is a blessing to walk through this with all of your
support…
Brady
Please be aware that we have not been talking to Sadie,
Wyatt and Samuel about many of the more difficult aspects of my condition. They know the word cancer, and they know that
I am being treated because I'm sick, but we are going to try to introduce this
new information at the appropriate times.
So if you are talking to me or Jasmine about anything, and our kids are
within earshot, please be very sensitive of your words. Thanks.
11/1/2012 - Update
It's hard to get an update out sitting in the aftermath of hurricane Sandy's dance through Allentown. The hum of the generator in the background, keeping the family warm and our food cold. God's timing couldn't have been better on that, when Jas had an inclination to check a certain store Monday morning before the storm. We had pretty much chalked it off as a lost cause, but ended up in the right place at the right time, and we got one of the last couple dozen that Home Depot got in on an overnight shipment. Got it all prep'd with our neighbor's help and we were ready when the power went out at 9pm that night, Monday. It's about 9pm on Thursday, and we're still sitting on a dark street, but we're doing good.
Thankfully, with the help of friends not afraid to venture out even the morning after the storm, I didn't have to miss any of my radiation sessions. Two weeks down now, with three to go. They say I should start feeling some side effects soon, but I'm still feeling great right now. Some may already know, but I got a preliminary peek at my bone marrow results from my Radiation Oncologist, which she said indicated a lower percentage than they were looking for to indicate multiple myeloma. Great news! As we understand it, that means this is, in fact, an isolated instance of plasmacytoma. I am scheduled to review the information with my Hematology Oncologist on Nov 8th, so I will get an explanation of all the details of the report, but for now we are celebrating the great news. Thank you for your prayers!
If anytime were a good time to glow in the dark, this would have been the week, but apparently radiation doesn't quite do that... so flashlights it is.
Thinking about you all, and so grateful for your friendship!
Brady
Thankfully, with the help of friends not afraid to venture out even the morning after the storm, I didn't have to miss any of my radiation sessions. Two weeks down now, with three to go. They say I should start feeling some side effects soon, but I'm still feeling great right now. Some may already know, but I got a preliminary peek at my bone marrow results from my Radiation Oncologist, which she said indicated a lower percentage than they were looking for to indicate multiple myeloma. Great news! As we understand it, that means this is, in fact, an isolated instance of plasmacytoma. I am scheduled to review the information with my Hematology Oncologist on Nov 8th, so I will get an explanation of all the details of the report, but for now we are celebrating the great news. Thank you for your prayers!
If anytime were a good time to glow in the dark, this would have been the week, but apparently radiation doesn't quite do that... so flashlights it is.
Thinking about you all, and so grateful for your friendship!
Brady
10/23/2012 - Update
Hey everyone! Wanted to give a quick update, although there isn't much news, and to say thanks again for your continued support, prayers, offers and encouragement. We feel the love!
It's been one week since I've gotten home, and it has really been a great week. I'm able to get around really well, though I can't really do anything that involves bending, lifting, twisting or carrying anything over 5-10 lbs. The pain is controlled well by a brace and some meds, and I am so thankful that I am able to be comfortable most of the time throughout the day. I believe I'm in the middle of a good one or two week stretch where the radiation side effects haven't quite started yet, and the pain management is under control. When the radiation starts taking its toll, I'm told I'll feel fatigue set it throughout the day and have some skin irritation, but because of the treatment area, that should be about it. I've got 4 of 25 sessions done now, and hopefully they continue to feel like they are flying by.
Being able to work from home is such a blessing, and I am easing back into a few hours a day catching up on what I've missed. It's great to just be around Jas and the kids all day, and the kids love being able to see me anytime they want. I think it still surprises them a little that I'm actually here so much right now. A strange time, but we are going to make the most of it every day.
We are still waiting to hear about the bone marrow biopsy results, which could take another week or so, but that's the only thing lingering right now.
Thanks again to those who have already provided meals for us, rides (and company) for my treatments and appointments, encouragement, help with the yard, and absolutely everything else. It's pretty humbling to be in a position of need, but I wish I could put into words for you how beautiful it is to see a community of people rise up to love our family the way you have. We are truly blessed.
With our deepest gratitude,
Brady, Jas & the clan.
It's been one week since I've gotten home, and it has really been a great week. I'm able to get around really well, though I can't really do anything that involves bending, lifting, twisting or carrying anything over 5-10 lbs. The pain is controlled well by a brace and some meds, and I am so thankful that I am able to be comfortable most of the time throughout the day. I believe I'm in the middle of a good one or two week stretch where the radiation side effects haven't quite started yet, and the pain management is under control. When the radiation starts taking its toll, I'm told I'll feel fatigue set it throughout the day and have some skin irritation, but because of the treatment area, that should be about it. I've got 4 of 25 sessions done now, and hopefully they continue to feel like they are flying by.
Being able to work from home is such a blessing, and I am easing back into a few hours a day catching up on what I've missed. It's great to just be around Jas and the kids all day, and the kids love being able to see me anytime they want. I think it still surprises them a little that I'm actually here so much right now. A strange time, but we are going to make the most of it every day.
We are still waiting to hear about the bone marrow biopsy results, which could take another week or so, but that's the only thing lingering right now.
Thanks again to those who have already provided meals for us, rides (and company) for my treatments and appointments, encouragement, help with the yard, and absolutely everything else. It's pretty humbling to be in a position of need, but I wish I could put into words for you how beautiful it is to see a community of people rise up to love our family the way you have. We are truly blessed.
With our deepest gratitude,
Brady, Jas & the clan.
10/18/2012 - Crazy Life Update
Hey everyone! I can't thank you all enough for your encouraging and supportive responses, for your prayers and for your concern for me and my family. It has been overwhelmingly beautiful, and each night before I go to bed I log in to be encouraged and strengthened by even more words of love and support. I would love to respond to each one, and hope that I can, because each one means so much to me. I will continue to send out updates while we're still in the early stages of things, but will probably taper off after things start to settle into our new "normal" lifestyle. But always feel free to call or write if you just want to talk or if you have any other questions…
At the end of the last letter (Friday 10/12), we had just gotten the plasmacytoma diagnosis in my L2 vertebrae from our Neurologist. Wow right, crazy, but we had something to start with. We started seeing specialists that weekend specific to this cancer and the treatment options available, and they were all so great. Two teams will be working closely with us through this, Hemotology Oncology and Radiation Oncology. The Hemotology team told us all about what plasmacytoma is, and how we had to do some more tests to rule out a broader form of this cancer that a plasmacytoma site could just be an indication of. The Radiation team has been working with us specificially to treat the cancerous area and destory the cancer cells.
Hemotology: Since they had found something right away in my L2 vertebrae, they immediatealy went ahead and checked my entire skull and spinal column from the beginning. They found nothing unusual anywhere there, and since they did an MRI of my head, I even got to see what it looked like inside my head. It was awesome, I got to see a slideshow of my brain cross-sections, so cool!
After the diagnosis, and the possibility of the broader cancer (multiple myeloma), they did X-Rays of ALL my large bones to look for any other cancer sites. Those came back clean, obviously great news!
Multiple myeloma can also be diagnosed if certain plasma percentages in the bone marrow are much higher than they should be, so right before I was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday (10/16), I had to get a bone marrow biopsy. Now I hear that bone marrow biopsies are excruciating, but thankfully because of my situation and the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to physically hold myself still because of my back, they put me under light anesthesia for that. What a blessing that was! We are still waiting for the results of this biopsy. They are optimistic that the results will be negative because some of my major organs that would likely be affected by multiple myeloma are functioning in great shape, and my body chemistry is not showing any tell tale signs they would expect to see if there was an issue, but we still need the results to rule it out completely.
Radiaology: Regardless of the presence of multiple myeloma, radiation treatment is necessary for my L2. And actually, they treat L1 and L3 (vertebrae above and below) just to make sure they get everything. I was set up for my first appointment this morning… I was initiated. They lined me up with a buch of X-Rays and a CT Scan to map a precision digital scan of my vertebrae. In making this map, they line me up with laser scopes around the room and I got three "blue freckle" tattoos (my first tat). They will use this with dual-beam, angled radiation to zap just what is needed, with minimal effect on surrounding bones/organs/tissue. Counting my blessings, the L2 is one of the best areas because the radiation will be far enough from all my major organs that I should have no issues with serious side effects caused by stray or intercepted radiation. After my initiation, they sent me off for an hour or so, and then had me come back for my first radiation treatment. Like they had told me before, they spend most of the time getting me on the table, lining me up and spinning this big machine around me. When they were ready, it was probably less then 30 seconds of actual radiation and I was done. I may see some side effects similar to sunburn on a small portion of my back, and maybe some fatigue, but they said that probably won't even show up until 2 weeks into the treatments. They're scheduling me for 25 sessions, once a day (weekdays only), and obviously they will be watching the progress throughout with bloodwork and scans. It's hard to believe that it got started so quickly, when less than two weeks ago it was just some annoying back pain.
Personally: I was almost discharged from the hospital on Monday (10/15), but things just weren't coordinating, so it had to wait until Tuesday. No big deal now that I've been home for the past few nights and it has been so wonderful! I remember looking out the window all day Tuesday, anxiously awaiting a breath of fresh air and the feel of the cool breeze… and when 5 o'clock rolled around, it was everything I was looking forward to. And then pulling into the driveway, seeing the kids so surprised and excited to have me home again, having a home-cooked meal with a few friends and sleeping in my own bed again… what a great day!
I am able to get around the house well, but I really can't do much of anything that requires bending / lifting / carrying / twising. The pain seems to be managed well with a back brace, medication, and frequently resting my back by lying down. Each day I've been up and about a bit more, and am feeling better. My calves had a hard time adjusting to more action than they've had for a whole week, but that's getting better too. And being able to cozy up to my wife whenever I want… priceless!
I was so encouraged by a verse someone sent me that illustrates God's Power and Love in the face of impossible circumstances. It's a theme that runs throughout the whole Bible and it washed me with such peace: "Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."" - Exodus 14:13-14
What a relief to be able to peacefully rest in God's mighty hands, and to know that while I rest from fighting with all my strength against something I couldn't possibly cure or eradicate or kill myself, that my God who is able, is fighting for me. What better hands could I be in?
We send our deep gratitude with our update. We have heard of people and churches all over praying for us, I have connected with some of you who have, and continue to, walk through similar (and certainly even more difficult) situations, we have meals made for us, drivers for appointments, babysitters for the kids, our lawn is mowed, Wyatt was randomly blessed with a Buzz Lightyear toy (with utility belt) that he had been wanting for the last few weeks, and our hearts are full… all this already, in such a short amount of time. I pray I can be as much of a blessing to all of you as you are to us.
Brady & the Sullivan clan
At the end of the last letter (Friday 10/12), we had just gotten the plasmacytoma diagnosis in my L2 vertebrae from our Neurologist. Wow right, crazy, but we had something to start with. We started seeing specialists that weekend specific to this cancer and the treatment options available, and they were all so great. Two teams will be working closely with us through this, Hemotology Oncology and Radiation Oncology. The Hemotology team told us all about what plasmacytoma is, and how we had to do some more tests to rule out a broader form of this cancer that a plasmacytoma site could just be an indication of. The Radiation team has been working with us specificially to treat the cancerous area and destory the cancer cells.
Hemotology: Since they had found something right away in my L2 vertebrae, they immediatealy went ahead and checked my entire skull and spinal column from the beginning. They found nothing unusual anywhere there, and since they did an MRI of my head, I even got to see what it looked like inside my head. It was awesome, I got to see a slideshow of my brain cross-sections, so cool!
After the diagnosis, and the possibility of the broader cancer (multiple myeloma), they did X-Rays of ALL my large bones to look for any other cancer sites. Those came back clean, obviously great news!
Multiple myeloma can also be diagnosed if certain plasma percentages in the bone marrow are much higher than they should be, so right before I was discharged from the hospital on Tuesday (10/16), I had to get a bone marrow biopsy. Now I hear that bone marrow biopsies are excruciating, but thankfully because of my situation and the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to physically hold myself still because of my back, they put me under light anesthesia for that. What a blessing that was! We are still waiting for the results of this biopsy. They are optimistic that the results will be negative because some of my major organs that would likely be affected by multiple myeloma are functioning in great shape, and my body chemistry is not showing any tell tale signs they would expect to see if there was an issue, but we still need the results to rule it out completely.
Radiaology: Regardless of the presence of multiple myeloma, radiation treatment is necessary for my L2. And actually, they treat L1 and L3 (vertebrae above and below) just to make sure they get everything. I was set up for my first appointment this morning… I was initiated. They lined me up with a buch of X-Rays and a CT Scan to map a precision digital scan of my vertebrae. In making this map, they line me up with laser scopes around the room and I got three "blue freckle" tattoos (my first tat). They will use this with dual-beam, angled radiation to zap just what is needed, with minimal effect on surrounding bones/organs/tissue. Counting my blessings, the L2 is one of the best areas because the radiation will be far enough from all my major organs that I should have no issues with serious side effects caused by stray or intercepted radiation. After my initiation, they sent me off for an hour or so, and then had me come back for my first radiation treatment. Like they had told me before, they spend most of the time getting me on the table, lining me up and spinning this big machine around me. When they were ready, it was probably less then 30 seconds of actual radiation and I was done. I may see some side effects similar to sunburn on a small portion of my back, and maybe some fatigue, but they said that probably won't even show up until 2 weeks into the treatments. They're scheduling me for 25 sessions, once a day (weekdays only), and obviously they will be watching the progress throughout with bloodwork and scans. It's hard to believe that it got started so quickly, when less than two weeks ago it was just some annoying back pain.
Personally: I was almost discharged from the hospital on Monday (10/15), but things just weren't coordinating, so it had to wait until Tuesday. No big deal now that I've been home for the past few nights and it has been so wonderful! I remember looking out the window all day Tuesday, anxiously awaiting a breath of fresh air and the feel of the cool breeze… and when 5 o'clock rolled around, it was everything I was looking forward to. And then pulling into the driveway, seeing the kids so surprised and excited to have me home again, having a home-cooked meal with a few friends and sleeping in my own bed again… what a great day!
I am able to get around the house well, but I really can't do much of anything that requires bending / lifting / carrying / twising. The pain seems to be managed well with a back brace, medication, and frequently resting my back by lying down. Each day I've been up and about a bit more, and am feeling better. My calves had a hard time adjusting to more action than they've had for a whole week, but that's getting better too. And being able to cozy up to my wife whenever I want… priceless!
I was so encouraged by a verse someone sent me that illustrates God's Power and Love in the face of impossible circumstances. It's a theme that runs throughout the whole Bible and it washed me with such peace: "Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."" - Exodus 14:13-14
What a relief to be able to peacefully rest in God's mighty hands, and to know that while I rest from fighting with all my strength against something I couldn't possibly cure or eradicate or kill myself, that my God who is able, is fighting for me. What better hands could I be in?
We send our deep gratitude with our update. We have heard of people and churches all over praying for us, I have connected with some of you who have, and continue to, walk through similar (and certainly even more difficult) situations, we have meals made for us, drivers for appointments, babysitters for the kids, our lawn is mowed, Wyatt was randomly blessed with a Buzz Lightyear toy (with utility belt) that he had been wanting for the last few weeks, and our hearts are full… all this already, in such a short amount of time. I pray I can be as much of a blessing to all of you as you are to us.
Brady & the Sullivan clan
10/12/2012 - Big News
hey friends and family, this is probably going to be a long e-mail, but it's serious, so please strap in... it's been a difficult couple of months, followed by a very difficult week, followed by one crazy day that will echo through the rest of our little family's lives. for the sake of those who haven't heard much, i'll start from the beginning...
(and please feel free to share/send/post any or all of this to anyone else you like)
last november, quite unexpectedly and through no apparent cause, my back went out on me. i had never felt anything like that before, and spent a few days laying, crawling and going to the chiropractor before I was up and about again. i continued going to the chiropractor for a few months, and then stopped as the symptoms seemed to get better (slowly) until i was pretty much back to normal.
i felt really good for about six months or so, until i could feel the faint return of the previous back issues. thankfully i have a wonderful wife who knows things don't just go away on their own, and she helped encourage me to take the time to do something about it. i decided to try out a physical therapist this time and went to sessions for about a month. some things seemed to get better, but some didn't and other strange things shows up, and again, my wonderful wife knew something wasn't right. i had a rough week, and a final therapy session that wasn't helpful. our busy weekend was interrupted by an untimely back spasm that laid me out for a few hours, and left me only able to hobble around, at best, for 3 minutes every 2 to 3 hours. i tried getting a massage to loosen up my back, and see one of our retired chiropractor friends, but i was still just as immobile the following night. since the next day was Monday i decided to take my wonderful and insightful wife's advice to go get an MRI done... but during normal business hours. little did I know that i would end up on the floor that night, stuck with severe back spasms any way i tried to move, waiting for the ambulance to get me off the floor to the ER.
checked into the hospital about midnight on Sunday night, and Monday was full of evaluations, X-rays, a CT-scan, an MRI of my lower spine, some serious meds and lots more back spasms.
the initial evaluations led to another MRI, this time of my whole spine, neck and head on Tuesday, a biopsy of my L2 vertebrae, more controlled meds, and more back spasms. i was also fitted with a back brace that stabilized my lower spine and hips, which allowed me to sit up about 45 degrees in the hospital bed for the first time since i was on my back at home.
no conclusions Wednesday, though they gave us an idea of some things they were looking for from the scans.
Thursday was a slower day, no results, a physical therapist was able to get me out of bed, and using a walker, i made it across the room and back... felt so good after looking at the ceiling for almost four straight days. they moved me to another room that evening, and i had been getting a lot of visitors and phone calls for the past few days, so time was going quick between tests and everything else. it was wonderful receiving so many calls and visits, and offers to help us out with anything we might need. we truly feel the amazing love of our community around us.
and today (Friday) we got the results of the biopsy. Jas and i found out that i have cancer in my L2 vertibrae bone, which leads to a few more questions and tests, but has answered the biggest question of why i have been whining about back pain for the last year. i can give more detail, and Jas is great at giving updates with the details that you may have already seen, but there are still some things yet to be determined.
as i finish up the final tests this weekend, they'll probably fix me up with some meds, a back brace, and a walker to get me home. we'll probably start treatment next week, but don't know for sure yet.
so that's the data, now how do we actually feel? incredibly enough, like many of the other big times in our lives, we look back and see God's hand preparing us and walking us through every step. we've seen Him (in each of our lives) write the intricate story of our lives as we found Him and put our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the way we were brought together as husband and wife, in the gift of each of our beautiful children, in the details of Samuel's adoption, and in so many other details of our lives. when Jas and i talk together of what is happening and what is to come, we are so in tune with each other, we find the peace of God together, and we are reminded again and again through difficult trials, why we are so perfect for each other. we were both led to scriptures that encourages those who put their hope and faith in Jesus Christ to rejoice in our trials, because God uses those times most difficult to shape us and mold us towards the most beautiful version of who He created us to be.
it's funny that over the past few years, i spend almost a whole year studying the book of first Peter in the Bible, and after studying it for so long, i put together a few Sunday School lessons for church. one of the things that impacted me the most, and made a huge shift in my life perspective, was the topic of suffering that was addressed in the letter Peter wrote. i tried to convince our Sunday School class that we should actually look forward to trials in our lives, because of what comes through them by God's hand. listen to these few verses from the book of James and from first Peter that Jas and i talked about tonight as we processed the news we got from the doctors:
James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
First Peter 1:3-9, 5:10 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."..."After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."
the Bible doesn't say that we have to enjoy pain, because pain hurts, or it wouldn't be suffering... or that we have to enjoy difficult times, because difficult times are hard, or we wouldn't call them difficult times. the thing that the Bible tells us over and over again is that suffering we endure today is short, and should never make us lose perspective of the joy we have in what God did for us through His Son Jesus Christ, who was sent to earth to endure the same pain and suffering we do, to teach us what it really means to Love the way we were designed to Love, to lay down His own sinless life in order that our sins could be paid for and forgiven completely... and the good news, should we choose to trust in what the scriptures say about Jesus, and what Jesus teaches through His words, is that we are "born again" into a new life, transformed and given security in the hope that when our frail bodies fail, Jesus will take us with Him to a place where sin and death and pain and suffering and aches and cancer and hate and loss and shame and deceit don't exist, and we live together with God as we were designed to from the beginning, for all eternity.
so yeah, there'll be tears, like there already have been, because it hurts... physically, mentally and emotionally. but don't be surprised when you see smiles on our faces, and a calm joy in our eyes through the hardest times, because spiritually, there has been nothing but peace and Love from God and from the awesome community of friends and family we have around us. thank you all for being there for us, for all you've done for us, and for any prayers you say for us.
Love you all,
Brady, Jasmine, Sadie, Wyatt & Samuel
October 12, 2012
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace." - Acts 20:24
"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” - Joshua 24:15
(and please feel free to share/send/post any or all of this to anyone else you like)
last november, quite unexpectedly and through no apparent cause, my back went out on me. i had never felt anything like that before, and spent a few days laying, crawling and going to the chiropractor before I was up and about again. i continued going to the chiropractor for a few months, and then stopped as the symptoms seemed to get better (slowly) until i was pretty much back to normal.
i felt really good for about six months or so, until i could feel the faint return of the previous back issues. thankfully i have a wonderful wife who knows things don't just go away on their own, and she helped encourage me to take the time to do something about it. i decided to try out a physical therapist this time and went to sessions for about a month. some things seemed to get better, but some didn't and other strange things shows up, and again, my wonderful wife knew something wasn't right. i had a rough week, and a final therapy session that wasn't helpful. our busy weekend was interrupted by an untimely back spasm that laid me out for a few hours, and left me only able to hobble around, at best, for 3 minutes every 2 to 3 hours. i tried getting a massage to loosen up my back, and see one of our retired chiropractor friends, but i was still just as immobile the following night. since the next day was Monday i decided to take my wonderful and insightful wife's advice to go get an MRI done... but during normal business hours. little did I know that i would end up on the floor that night, stuck with severe back spasms any way i tried to move, waiting for the ambulance to get me off the floor to the ER.
checked into the hospital about midnight on Sunday night, and Monday was full of evaluations, X-rays, a CT-scan, an MRI of my lower spine, some serious meds and lots more back spasms.
the initial evaluations led to another MRI, this time of my whole spine, neck and head on Tuesday, a biopsy of my L2 vertebrae, more controlled meds, and more back spasms. i was also fitted with a back brace that stabilized my lower spine and hips, which allowed me to sit up about 45 degrees in the hospital bed for the first time since i was on my back at home.
no conclusions Wednesday, though they gave us an idea of some things they were looking for from the scans.
Thursday was a slower day, no results, a physical therapist was able to get me out of bed, and using a walker, i made it across the room and back... felt so good after looking at the ceiling for almost four straight days. they moved me to another room that evening, and i had been getting a lot of visitors and phone calls for the past few days, so time was going quick between tests and everything else. it was wonderful receiving so many calls and visits, and offers to help us out with anything we might need. we truly feel the amazing love of our community around us.
and today (Friday) we got the results of the biopsy. Jas and i found out that i have cancer in my L2 vertibrae bone, which leads to a few more questions and tests, but has answered the biggest question of why i have been whining about back pain for the last year. i can give more detail, and Jas is great at giving updates with the details that you may have already seen, but there are still some things yet to be determined.
as i finish up the final tests this weekend, they'll probably fix me up with some meds, a back brace, and a walker to get me home. we'll probably start treatment next week, but don't know for sure yet.
so that's the data, now how do we actually feel? incredibly enough, like many of the other big times in our lives, we look back and see God's hand preparing us and walking us through every step. we've seen Him (in each of our lives) write the intricate story of our lives as we found Him and put our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the way we were brought together as husband and wife, in the gift of each of our beautiful children, in the details of Samuel's adoption, and in so many other details of our lives. when Jas and i talk together of what is happening and what is to come, we are so in tune with each other, we find the peace of God together, and we are reminded again and again through difficult trials, why we are so perfect for each other. we were both led to scriptures that encourages those who put their hope and faith in Jesus Christ to rejoice in our trials, because God uses those times most difficult to shape us and mold us towards the most beautiful version of who He created us to be.
it's funny that over the past few years, i spend almost a whole year studying the book of first Peter in the Bible, and after studying it for so long, i put together a few Sunday School lessons for church. one of the things that impacted me the most, and made a huge shift in my life perspective, was the topic of suffering that was addressed in the letter Peter wrote. i tried to convince our Sunday School class that we should actually look forward to trials in our lives, because of what comes through them by God's hand. listen to these few verses from the book of James and from first Peter that Jas and i talked about tonight as we processed the news we got from the doctors:
James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
First Peter 1:3-9, 5:10 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."..."After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."
the Bible doesn't say that we have to enjoy pain, because pain hurts, or it wouldn't be suffering... or that we have to enjoy difficult times, because difficult times are hard, or we wouldn't call them difficult times. the thing that the Bible tells us over and over again is that suffering we endure today is short, and should never make us lose perspective of the joy we have in what God did for us through His Son Jesus Christ, who was sent to earth to endure the same pain and suffering we do, to teach us what it really means to Love the way we were designed to Love, to lay down His own sinless life in order that our sins could be paid for and forgiven completely... and the good news, should we choose to trust in what the scriptures say about Jesus, and what Jesus teaches through His words, is that we are "born again" into a new life, transformed and given security in the hope that when our frail bodies fail, Jesus will take us with Him to a place where sin and death and pain and suffering and aches and cancer and hate and loss and shame and deceit don't exist, and we live together with God as we were designed to from the beginning, for all eternity.
so yeah, there'll be tears, like there already have been, because it hurts... physically, mentally and emotionally. but don't be surprised when you see smiles on our faces, and a calm joy in our eyes through the hardest times, because spiritually, there has been nothing but peace and Love from God and from the awesome community of friends and family we have around us. thank you all for being there for us, for all you've done for us, and for any prayers you say for us.
Love you all,
Brady, Jasmine, Sadie, Wyatt & Samuel
October 12, 2012
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace." - Acts 20:24
"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” - Joshua 24:15
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)